Why Cafes? Your Daily Routine is Less Boring Than You Think
I like that I have the kind of friends that call me out on my shit and tell me what they truly think, all while offering their perspective with kindness and the best of intentions. It’s usually pretty easy for me to see when this is coming from a place of care so I’m wide open to this type of feedback.
It’s a kind of love language for me, as these are the people that I know I can trust the most. These are the friends that I’m looking to surround myself as I get older, and I’m always grateful when life sends them my way.
Earlier this year, this happened to me within about 20 minutes of a conversation with a new friend of mine. We met on a video conference half the world a part, and quickly found that we had a lot of commonly held values and goals within life-most of which, perhaps, was our love for writing.
Interestingly, Harris’ take on writing came from years of study and professional writing and eventuality turned into a passion for storytelling about the people he meets while traveling (Check out https://www.talesfromthewhale.com/ for some absolutely beautiful writing and photography).
On the other hand, my own experience with writing up to that point had been minimal. I thought fondly of the idea in college, but then I put it off for almost 20 years. I only recently decided I was going to start writing, and am the first to admit I’ve got so much to learn.
Harris was incredibly gracious and took some time to share his story and offered some insight as we reflected on mine. We read through some of my work, and he gave me a few pointers that were much appreciated. It’s humbling, learning new things in middle-age, and I can’t say enough how grateful I am for folks who come along the way to help me out.
The feedback I received was very gentle and thoughtful, but since I love creative critique, I leaned in hard with my questions, and I received some very provoking questions in response. One of the most notable questions ended up being: “Why Cafes?”
And since I’m starting a whole goddam magazine about cafes, this poignant question hit appropriately hard.
There are a lot of folks covering restaurants, coffee shops, events, brand launches, etc. etc. etc. happening all over the place. Cafes exist. Cool. But why the fuck do people need to read about them and why the fuck should they listen to me write about them?
What’s funny is, at first, I didn’t know how to answer. This question rang true as a “why are you doing what you are doing?” and I was honestly taken back a bit. Why couldn’t I answer? What is so special about coffee shops that urges me to decide (kind of quickly, abruptly) to change my life to create a media company completely centered around cafes?
Finally, I responded. “Cafes changed my life.”
That feels both like a pretty big, meaningful statement and perhaps a lot of pressure to put on my local coffee shops and eateries. The nuanced weight of my answer gave me pause: what truly prompted that response, and do these everyday places really hold such esteem in my life?
As Harris (again, graciously) allowed me to stumble through my answer, and as I continue to reflect on this question, I’m going to explore through a few of the answers here as well:
Cafes are the center of genuine hospitality.
Often created around the entire idea of service and innovation, cafes offer an opportunity for genuine care to felt and exchanged by offering solace, rest, and an environment designed for connection.
Cafes are cultural change makers
For centuries, the third place has been a gathering space for the community to come together, share stories, and connect in meaningful ways that they might not otherwise in their homes or workspaces.
Cafes welcome everyone.
Cafes are often places where folks can come to about anything from business deals to relational connections to the weather-and everything in between. They’re also regularly known to have a quality of service and offerings that you might find anything from a $40 drink to a sliding scale or free cup of coffee when you need it.
Cafes are places of passion.
Whether cafe owners, baristas, artists, conversationalists, writers, business leaders, musicians, coffee roasters, or any other of the myriad of creative types, many of us gather to showcase our desire to create beauty in the world.
Cafes encourage surprising and unexpected connection.
Through conversations that occur at the counter with your favorite barista, while holding the door for a stranger, while seeing a community member at the table next to you, or seeing a friend stop in on the way to work, the opportunity for new and continued connections is endless.
Cafes are places of energy and of rest.
For the rainy-day reader, the student and writer, the hungry or tired, the traveler, the connector, the adventure seeker, or the creative or entrepreneur, cafes give a place to relax and rest while also offering an energetic environment (and beverages) to keep us feeling inspired.
So while many of us are just looking to grab a coffee or bite to eat or maybe get in a quick meeting or do some work, I maintain that cafes hold much more meaning than we often give them credit.
These are just some of the reasons I get so obsessed about sharing the stories of cafes. They continue to change my life every time I step foot into one, and whenever I need a bit of inspiration or connection or even time alone, I often grab my computer or a book or journal and know exactly where I’m headed.
My hope with the CAFES project is to tell the stories of hundreds or even thousands of people. Some folks are like me, kind of obsessed with cafes and end up seeing the world through third spaces. Others are owners, baristas, and other professionals and others who are reliant financially and otherwise to dedicate their time to showing hospitality and service to others through this medium.
The stories I‘m perhaps most excited to tell, however, are of and for everyone who frequent cafes, not often thinking much about it.
The CAFES project is for everyone who shows up daily to be seen by others and to witness them in return, celebrating the way that we collectively show up for ourselves and for others and experience our full humanity in the process.
I recognize that to some of you it might feel like I’m making a big deal out of a regular thing, and that’s ok. That’s actually kind of the point. This whole experience of being human is so fucking beautiful and I want to celebrate every little thing about it, cafes included.
